I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
