hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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