Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
