i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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