Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
