Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
