I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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