She said her name was "party"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
