i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
