addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
