If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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