Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
