you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
