So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
