I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
