i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
