i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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