I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
