This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
