Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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