I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize