Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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