Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
