her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
