Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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