I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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