Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize