just tell him i said nine months
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
as a side note pls kill me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
