Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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