Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize