people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"