I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.