he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
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redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
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This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.