Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
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Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes