I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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