I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
