My sheets look like a crime scene.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
