you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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