it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
