ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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