I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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