I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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