call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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