it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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