If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
