Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
