I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
