she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
