he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
