i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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