I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
