the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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