finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
