i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
