how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
