Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
