Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
