And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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