I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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