The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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