is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize