apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
