i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
