Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
