I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
