At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
