He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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