Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
