It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We are all done wearing pants today
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
